Can Malaysians Do Standup Comedy?









You be the judge

Me-lvin^_~

Speed Monsters

Ok, geng kali ni guo nak kasi perkenalkon geng rempit guo. Guo tau, ramai tak suke kat ohang cam guo, sebab kato kitorang ni sampah masyarakatlah, tak berotaklah dan lain-lainlah. Tu sume . . . memang betui, tapi dah kitorang anak mudoh, camnor?

Tanpa buong maso lagi, meh guo kenaikan member member guo.



Namo Sebenor: Sarip bin Abdul Rahim
Namo samaran: Sarip Speed
Info Sikit: Ni hah, ketua geng kitohang. Mamat ni tunggang moto125Z. Mamat ni dulu men ngan budak KL, budak KL tu bodoh nak mampus, ade ke pegi langgar pili bomba, entah hape hape.



Namo Sebenor: Tarmizi Bin Ismail
Namo Samaran: Panjang
Info Sket: Mamat ni kira cam salah satu penunggang terbaik geng kitorang. Die ni raja Superman. Hah! Kalau nak lumbe Superman, jom ar lawan ngan mamat ni! Mamat ni gune moto RXZ!


Namo Sebenor: Azizol Bin Haji Saed
Namo Samaran: Zol
Info Sket: Mamat ni ade bengkel sendiri. Die ni pro buat moto. Hah, kitohang antar moto kat die ni, ar. Nak tukar ape? Minyak? Brek? Exos? Bush? Enjen? Sume mamat ni bole buatlah, kawan.
Moto mamat ni gune, Panther!


Namo Sebenor: Badrul Hisham bin Meswan
Namo Samaran: Abang Bob
Info Sket: Mamat ni nampak je simple, tapi mamat ni salah satu penungang tercekap kitohang. Mamat ini banyak kali eksiden, tapi tengok idup lagi tu, beb. Mamat ni gune moto TZM beb, ade brani? Mamat ni slalu racing kat area area KK, Bukit Lanchong, kekadang kat KL, ar. Tapi polis buat spotchek, kan?


Namo Sebenor: Razali Jusoh bin Sulaiman
Namo Samaran: Hitam, ke Tam. Ikut suke koranglah.
Info Sket: EX5 adelah moto yang digunekan mamat ni. Mamat ni ekspet buat pacak. Biasenye die ni akan duk depan, blakang ade memberlah, pastu die pacak moto. Best beb! Ade sekali tu, mase die buat pacak, ade member len duk blakang, pastu die pakai helmet, bagi pale sentuh jalan raya. Guo caya same die ni beb.


Namo Sebenor: Iskandar Safwan bin Zulhasnam
Namo Samaran: Is
Info Sket: Mamat ni anak Datuk beb! Ape-ape problem duit, mamat nie gaklah yang tolong kitorang. Duit petrol, racing, spare part, rokok sume mamat ni yang bayar. Skill die? Mamat ni ekspet buat wekang. Mamat ni ade kebolehan buat wekang, ngang gune moto die, sejauh 8 tiang! Setakat ni, takde sape dapat kalahkan mamat ni. Walaupun anak Datuk, die ni gune moto kapchai je, beb. Bukan moto tu penting, yang penting skill.


Namo Sebenor: Hafizi Nor bin Daud
Namo Samaran: Apiz
Info Sket:Ni hah aku. Aku skill biase je, sume aku blaja kat member member len. Aku ni adelah sikit sikit menang kat sini, kat sane. Misi aku, untuk jadi Rempit Sejati!

Ape moto kumpulan kami? Moto kami hanya satu je "Untuk menjadi rempit sejati, kena ade skill. Kalau takde skill, pi mampos".

Sekian, Tehmakasehhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why they never, or could understand us.

While having dinner some nights ago, "My Friend" asked me, "what are you going to do? Form Six or work?". I answered honestly "i don't know". After a few seconds of silence, i opened my mouth and said " i want to do what God wants me to do". "My Friend" looked at me with curiosity and asked me "what is it?" You see "My Friend" is a non-christian, "My Friend" is different race and religion. I told "My Friend", i want to do something else which people would not chose to be, i want to be a missionary(perhaps), going into jungle, spread the Good News ( i didn't use the word Christian, or Christianity, to offend "My Friend") and help out there. "My Friend" told me, "Melvin, if you want to help people, do charity works, then you work hard now, be successful first, then only do your charity works". Note the word "charity"? I don't blame "My Friend", because he/she had not heard of the word "missionary" and their job. In "My Friend" context, missionary = volunteer. Going out and helping people out, that's it!

Just like normal human being, i too has my own dreams i want to accomplish. But i know, i don't hold any certificate such as Diploma, Degree, PhD, Masters and any other infamous certificate. Because i cant afford to pay so much for studies. But i still can go work, find jobs which can pay me a lot than those who having certificate. Example, my dad working's place, there's this Chinese guy, who sells soy beans, which he is the distributor to many people. People will look down at his job, tell him that he's poor, and he's filthy dirty. But you know what, he's HAPPY with his job, earning enough for his family, BUT the main thing is he's contented with it(because he OWNS a BMW 5 series, other BMW's of different series, vans and a small shop which sells Fish Head noodles for RM8).

As for me, if i EVER chose to follow God's part, then it's a suicide thing. I'm now on the 23Th floor, standing, on top of the balcony. If i chose God's path, then i shalt jump down, if i chose to do something which God didn't ask me to do, but i want to do it, then i will go back to the lift and go to the lobby and walk off. If i want to do serve for God, then i have to die to myself. Which means, letting go of dreams of being "successful", letting go of the Alphard and BMW all this while I'm eyeing on, letting go of happy times with family and friend and letting go of recognitions. But it doesn't have to be future plans, it could be the present plans. Which means, i might have to leave my computer, car and any items and interest back. And this scares me a lot. A lot!

In 5 years time down the road, my friends will be successful with their first new cars, certificates, and the jobs they do, but meanwhile for me, i don't know what will become of me. I might be as poor as now at that time, i might be working as missionary at that time, earning not even close to what my friends earn. I might be driving at 4x4 third hand 4-Wheel drive with botak tires and faulty gearbox, which is covered with mud, and no air cond. I might have a house, at some jungle, and they will live in luxury house. The night they go out to have dinner with their girlfriends, i'm having dinner with orang asli, eating plain rice, with fried fish.

This is why many people dont know what is missionary! Because people are scared of becoming one, and reaching out. If there is some amount of missionaries, then people from the outside world will know who are us, what are we trying to do. Trust me, being "succesful" as in carrer and property is not always can be counted as "succesful". My dad's boss, who is a millionaire, but a free thinker has 4 children. 3 of them are sons and 1 is a daughter. Both his first and second son is working with him, after went studying at Monash, and going to overseas. But his daughter, has another plan. She went on to different countries and helping people out. I dont know if she's a Christian, or just doing it because she has compation which her dad doesnt have, but LOOK she could have come back to Malaysia, and start her own business, buy a Mercedes , dress to kill, but why did she choose some path which will make he "downgrade" herself? This my friend, is called dying to self. Even if she is not a Christian, but she chose not to follow the world's way, but decides to help people out.

It's kinda late now, and i think i have done this essay now, haha. I thank all those who managed to read the whole thing, and take sometime to ponder, on what i have written. I know i have said something wrong, or my spelling or the wrong words i use might be wrong, please excuse the errors.

Me-lvin^_~

P.S. Do remember in your prayers!

That Day!

Yesterday was "that day", the day where STPM results came out. I decided to go check out some of my old friends (and their results as well).

I went there, to the school hall. Went in, saw some familiar faces. I wont go and tell whose results is which one, because it's private and confidential. But i can say, many people didn't get results up to their expectations. Some even felt that they did terrible job. Seriously the people who saying this, are the "SMARTEST and the BRIGHTEST" students in the school. The percentage this year had dropped if I'm not mistaken. In the whole school, only 1 student got straight 4As.

Anyway, today i checked my results via online, and here's the result slip.

(click at the picture, for full size)

Yeap, all X. I got the X-Factor ( actually i didn't enter the examination on the day). Err. . . On the bright side, i didn't fail anything (or passed anything).

Currently i was thinking of retaking back my STPM . . . There are some people from my school as well who are considering retake as well.

Me-lvin

HaWt!

Yeslah, the election is over at last. I kinda happy with the results. It did really slapped some group of people in their face.

Personally i felt this year's election is one of the biggest, scariest, dangerous, and heart poundingest election ever held in Malaysia. People are rising up, people are thinking now. People are suffering this days. With the rise of Petrol, toll, sugar, oil, cement, and so many other things, who wants to live in this kind environment. The stupid media, which are real suck up, showing big lies of advertisement, portraying that it's ok for items to go up. I still remember, whenever the price of an item goes up, some of the news, *T* and **3, show in their news, that people supporting the hike of the price. People would go "bagi saya, harga naik ini tidak membebankan, apa yang kerajaan buat ini, adalah baik" and other stupid comments like that. Why dont they show, comments of people being mad, with the price hike? Of course you wont show, then your channel will be ban. Seriously, if you dont have the courage to show the truth, then dont call yourself media.

In my place, Taman Alam Megah, the election is quite hot here, too. Everywhere, there is banners of PAS, PKR, and BN. This year i'm 20 year old, so i cant really vote yet, my next time i can go vote is 2012. Majority people over here, are supporters of PAS and BN, since the majority of people staying this area, is Malays. I don't know all of the candidates, except for one of them, Vigneswaran. I know him, through the activities that is held by my school. Any event, he will be called. Other than that, i don't see him anywhere AT ALL. When the day of election, i seriously thought BN is going to win for sure. You see, BN is same as Manchester United, they are the most strongest team (and the most annoying ones, too), so if ever people were to beat them, its impossible, but it can be done, but still it's impossible. Seriously, BN has the moolahs, the power, the power to control the television, and radios, and ISA. So with all this, it's like banging your head against a steel wall. I still remembered, on that day, i went to buy food, the primary school which i had studied for 4 years, had been filled with people with PAS and BN's tents there. All the flags, banners, boards, and so on were covering the roads, and the view.

On the night, i really felt scared as i was seeing Tv3. I prayed to God, so that bad things wont happen to us. We had suffered enough, and we don't want this to continue on. Tv3 did this program in conjunction with the election, where 2 of their hosts, with another 2 guest (politic analysis, who have nothing better to do). And they will change the hosts and the guests after some minutes, and then change again, and then back to the same hosts and guests. I really hate what those fools were commenting. They were talking about how BN is going to win, and how BN had contributed to the country. You knowlah, all those suck up talks. And they went on hitting the OPP. I was kinda mad with the whole thing. Later on one of the fooh (fool pronounced as fooh) talking about how teenagers this days not interested with election. As a teenager i felt that is one of the most stupidest thing an old dude like him will say. We teenagers/young adults/belia IS interested with elections. But our age, prevails us from doing so. Also old dudes who is suppose to retire, still sitting on top don't gives chance for the youths to take part in election. It's not like that, we're going to corrupt the country or what, right?

Thanks to David Lim, for giving me information on how i can check the progress through Malaysiakini. Stupid Tv3 couldn't even provide proper information and they are showing really slow. Kept on repeating the same whole thing. As times goes by, i was quite surprise with the results. Like Syarizat lost, and Uncle Sam lost, too. As for Syarizat, i was quite suprise that, she would lost, despite all the works she does for woman, and kids. As for Uncle Sam, i little bit also not that surprise. I was quite surprise to see Anuar Ibrahim's wife, and daughter in-law won. Even he himself told, that his daughter in-law would have no chance to win, but all of a sudden . . . Wau! As more results came, i was like --> to see people like, Rafidah Aziz, Khir Toyo, Najib bin Razak, Pak Lah, and many more of this "seniors" won.

I was suprised that many big leaders of MIC had fallen. In Alam Megah, they built this big tent, and "belanja" people makan, twice. Most of the time, indians are the ones inside the camp, so i was really shocked that somehow, all those "belanja" tricks didn't really worked.

I was really surprise knowing that the OPP had gotten 5 states in their hands. Really marvelous. Penang, Kedah, Kelantan, Perak, and Selangor!!!!. As for this new gemen, i don't know how would everything go on. I admit, when BN was holding the country, things were a bit, ok here and there. I don't know how this new gemen is going to operate. I pray to God, that He will bless this country, stop all those corrupted ones, and help Christians to survive in this world.

In the meantime, we wont be seeing anymore speeches like this



And more of leadership like this



http://122.0.17.30/news/79436

Me-lvin^_~
God Bless Malaysia

Tim kai, tim kai??

Hi, it's been long time since i updated this blog, sorry. Wasnt in good condition, these few days. I got Denggi!


I fall sick, on Tuesday, last week. At first i thought it has to be one of those "travelling sick". It's somekinda phobia/sickness/problem i have ALWAYS, when i'm about to travel somewhere. On the 8th of March, i was suppose to go Melacca. So my dad asked to swallow some panadol, so i did. It didnt helped at all. On Wednesday, morning around 3am, i couldnt sleep. My condition became worse. So went to clinic at around, 4 am something. While taking the medicine, my brother spotted, a poster infomation about Denggi. I know of some people who died from Denggi, so this disturbs me a lot.

At night i ate tomyam, my dad said it's good, so i can sweat out, so all the heat in the body will come out. So i ate it, and went to sleep. Then the horrible thing happen. . . At 2 am something, i woke up, feeling all funny. Then i vomitted the tom yam. Soon i started to vomit, everything. Including the water in my body. Then it went worse, went i vomit somekinda brown thing. I dont know what it is, but it looked funny. Then i started to vomit more of this brown thing. At one time, i looked at one spot of this brown thing, only to realised it was. . .

BLOOD!!!



Then my dad wanted to take me to a PolyClinic at Shah Alam. So we went there by taxi, my condition was even worse. I couldnt walk properly, gasping for air, in cold, my body is in pain, and tired. First, had to take number, then register, and then sit, till your number comes up, your blood will be taken, and then pass it to the lab. Wait again for the results, and then it's either take medicine, or go back. Luckily my dad was there, to do all the job. I was to tired to even sit on the chair. My mouth has the most terrible smell ever, because of the blood i vomitted. I even slept on the 3 seats, you know those 3 seats in 1 row. I don't care if people stare at me, or what, im sick. After all the procedures, im allowed to go back. I swallowed the vomit medicine, and drank 1 tin of 100 Plus, and went back.

I was asked to come on the next day, Friday. So i went there again, and do the same whole thing. Got poked by the needle at the same spot i was poked yesterday. My dad asked the doctor, whether do i need to be warded, she said there's no need to be warded. I was to go Hospital Tengku Ampuan Rahimah, HTAR the next day, at KECEMASAN section. So i went the next day to HTAR, KECEMASAN section. Got my pressure checked. Got my blood taken out. I wasn't scared of anything. I didn't know what i was getting myself into. So i waited for my number to come out. Really terrible place, really dirty. Looks like Pudu Raya at first glance. Then my number came, and i went inside this room, where there's another 2 rooms. One for Malaysians, another for foreigners. Had my blood taken, again, but different hand this time.

Then! this nurse came out, and asked me to register at one of the counter, and "masuk wad". I thought i heard wrongly. I went to that counter, it was indeed the "Pendaftaran Wad" Counter. I really scared, i told my dad to run away. I was serious. I don't mind, of getting my blood taken, eat medicines, but not until the extant of going inside ward. I really wanted to run, but my dad told me to wait and see what happens. So after registering, i was told to go back to the earlier room. They called my name again, this time, on top of the assisantant table, was this funny looking thing. I know what it is, it's that thing they poke inside your hand, and drips will be connected to it. The assistant was pretty rough dude, he PRESSED that thing directly into my poor hand, i really did felt the pain. I only can look helplessly at my dad. After that he put one bottle of the drips, and asked me to go the next room. I was still in shock with what's happening. I just came to take blood test, and now all this is happening.

Then after long time waiting, a nurse came, and told me, to follow her to a ward. . .

To Be Continued!!!

Me-lvin:(

Tim Kai, Tim Kai - Part 2.

A nurse came and told me, that i can go to the ward. I was really sad, blur, and shocked with what's happening. I really don't know what is happening. So my dad and i followed her to the ward. It was on the 8Th floor. I went there, and saw many people lying on the bed, i don't know what sickness they are having. So i went to this corner and sat there. Nurse over there arguing about Dengue patient (which is me) being transferred to that ward. Apparently it was Tibi, and other sickness ward. The Dengue ward is already full of people. After taking my blood again, this guy (don't know wheater he's a doctor or nurse) asked me some questions. Later he told me "kat sini ambik darah 4 kali, hahahaha. Jangan kata saya tak bagitau". Later one nurse came, and told me to go to my bed. So i followed, and then came to this bed. It's actually like twin bed. Next to me was an old man. You know how some bed, where they have another one down there? It's the same, it's higher than those normal ones.

I changed place to in front, because this old man looks scary, besides the front there, the bed is just down the tv, so easy accesslah. The bed is still the same, the down one. But the guy sleeping next to me, looks ok. He's alive and sitting on his bed. My dad asked him, what's his problem? He said he has "paru paru bernanah". It means his lungs is filled with pus. He's been there, for 29 days already. I don't want to tell you guys, how they removed those pus away, fearing you guys will vomit in front of your monitors.

It was all ok, till my dad left. I can feel loneliness, and fear creeping on top of me, like shadow of darkness. I'm all alone, in a place fill with strangers, in a foreign place. That night i didn't eat anything, because i didn't had any appetite. I went to the toilet, and it was in horrible condition, some toilet had no flush, some the doors too tight, some has you-know-what-in-it, some has no hook, to hook up Sodium Chloride bottle. I learnt to use the toilet with one hand. It was hard, but it can be done. At 12 am, this guy came and took blood from my hand. So i watch the tv till 2 am, until one nurse came and off it. I didn't manage to sleep, because of my "bedmate" and "roomate" kept on snoring. Funny machines kept on going in and coming out. I was really afraid that night, didn't slept well. At 5 am, the same guy came and took my blood again.

For breakfast, i had this round bun, which had "Hak Kerajaan" sticker on it, and Milo. I went to toilet later, and saw this small room, where some critical looking patients in it. They all look unconscious, and had funny things plugged into them. I felt cold shiver for a while. The day was Sunday, I'm expecting visit from my dad, and church friends. I waited till 1pm, but my dad couldn't be seen. I started to worry, and felt very sad. No one is here, the rest of the patients, their family members are there with them. Then i saw far away, at the entrance of another ward, i saw my dad going there. So i quickly grabbed my Sodium Chloride, and chased him. I was thrilled to saw him. Later went back to my ward, and talked to him. It felt really nice to see him there. He told me, my brother told, that my church friends, wont be visiting me. I felt really sad. Then my dad's friend came, so i left him with them. He went down. As i was lying watching Asoka, the indian version, i saw someone with a familiar face, i sit up, and saw my church people. I was kinda shocked. The joy i felt was indescribable. I was speechless. I was really happy to see them, that they willing to visit me, at a far place. So i had some chit chat with them.

A nurse came, and told me that i'll need to be moved to the Dengue ward. I hesitated at first. I didn't know how the place looks like, what kind of people are over there. But i decided I'll give it a try, i just hoped it will be better than this horrible place i was at. It turns to be pretty good, i'll say. At last i got my very own bed, with no any one sleeping next/down/below me. I got my own table, to put my stuffs on it. There's air cond in this room, fan also. It looks clean, and much more modern looking. There's toilets and bathrooms!! Which is quite clean by the way. My dad accompany me till some time, and he too went back. That night, i felt really lonely. My mp3 player has no battery on it, and the tv was in front. I want to sleep and watch the tv, but couldn't, because it was kinda far away.

Monday was pretty horrible day, too for me. No one came to visit me. I really felt loneliness. I felt how hospital patients felt. It was torturing. I just hoped my dad would come and visit me, but he's sick and was working. He got sick because he went back in rain from the hospital on Sunday. Basically in the new ward, i don't eat their lunch or dinner. Only breakfast only. Others i'll eat from outside. Most of the time, i'll just lie on the bed, sit, look outside, look at the clock, ask the doctors the same question "when can i go back"?, and just think a lot. I still remember, on morning the doctor came. I asked him "doctor, when can i go back?". He said "most probably today or tomorrow. We'll have to see if you have fever or not.". At morning my body temperature was ok. In the afternoon, it went up. It stayed up till at night. At night, i was kinda mad, i kept on thinking, why i couldn't go back. I had to do something. I NEED to do something. I set my heart on going back, the next day. So after proper thinking and planning. I came with an escape plan.

My Plan
* Drink 2 cups of water, every 30 minutes.
* Go toilet every 30 minutes.

Objective
*Try to consume as much as water as possible.
*To reduce my body temperature, as in fever.

It may looked like a simple plan, but NO. It's hard. Because i was committed at that time. I forced myself to drink every drop of water, and go to toilet. It wasn't easy, and i didn't knew if it worked or not. I prayed too. At 11pm, i stopped, Oh! i started at 7pm, by the way. I dint know if i made it, i just know i did my very best. At 12:30 they came and took my blood again. I just hope, there's some difference in the blood count. At morning the same doctor came, and told me, that i can go back, at 12:30pm. I was so so so happy. I wanted to celebrate it. Hehehe. Thanks to God, for helping me out. So my dad came, and we went back. Didn't have to pay any single cent. It's free wei.

Overall i think the Dengue ward, is ok. Very friendly nurse. I just don't like the foods, the doctors, kept on changing, the time of blood taking, and the amount of blood taking (4 times a day). I did learned a lot during this 7 days. I learn about importance, of family, friendship, understanding sick people, how it feels like staying in hospital, and how important it is to take care of your body.


Melvin Lourdes - 891059

Me-lvin^_~